In my last post, Beyond Appearance & Transformation, I discussed why it doesn’t bother me that people can sculpt and transform themselves to look like anything they want, and none of us should care as long as they are kind, decent and play well with others. In this post I want to address the nasty tendency to try to get everyone to go along with their decision, and pretend that they didn’t transform themselves at all. Rather, they were born in the wrong body, so even though their chromosomes are xx or xy, and their dna defines them as who they are, what they were born as is a mistake. Therefore, because they feel this way, everyone else needs to pretend their chromosomes and dna aren’t real, but rather their transformation is the only thing that matters.
Talk about the ultimate body shaming! Agreeing with anyone who says they are a mistake or were born in the wrong body is cruel, in my opinion. People should be loved and accepted for who they are, not told they are not good enough as who they are. I get that there are trans people who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. I don’t want to shame them anymore than I want to shame anyone else. And if some people are so uncomfortable in their own skin, that they make decisions to alter their appearance, it doesn’t bother me at all. What I don’t understand is this push that people who aren’t trans are somehow cruel for not being activists in favor of the trans movement. I also don’t understand how recognizing a trans person as someone who altered their appearance is offensive.
I’m offended by people who are offended by me for stating facts. I’m sad that anyone believes they are a mistake, and/or are born in the wrong body. I’m disturbed that people get angry when any of this is questioned. We can’t change chromosomes or dna. We can change appearance. If people are so unhappy with how they look or what they feel like inside, there are ways to change it. The bigger question in my mind is why are they so disgusted with how they were born?
And who decided certain groups of people should never be offended? Allowing these same activists to challenge and offend people who don’t agree with them, or have a different perspective on what this is about? Why is it okay for some groups of people to spread hate and division, toward those of us who don’t challenge them, but merely have a different take on what their entire movement is about? How come trans people can hate people who aren’t trans, and people who aren’t trans can’t question trans at all?
So while I’m out there not caring who identifies as what, I’m being called a danger to society for not believing a person with xx chromosomes is a man. I’ve got people in my face calling me a threat for calling a woman who grows a beard, a woman with a beard. Okay, the new word for this is called transgender. We labeled it and gave it a name. It still doesn’t change the fact that a woman who grows a beard is a woman with a beard. And if a woman wants to grow a beard, she better darn well feel comfortable enough with the decision, to know that she’s a woman with a beard.
The reality is none of this should matter. Except the body shaming, and the sad reality that so many people don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. I’ll fall back on Bob Ross for this one. “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” No one is born wrong. No one is a mistake. To those who believe that they are a mistake or born in the wrong body, it is really sad that you are so uncomfortable in your own skin. That doesn’t make the rest of us cruel, because we don’t see it. That doesn’t make the rest of us enemies for knowing you can change your appearance, but you can’t change your chromosomes and dna. And you are good enough. You’re accepted with the chromosomes and dna you have. You’re accepted with however you decide to change your appearance. There’s no reason to be angry at people who are different from you, because we are not a threat.
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Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my work here.
Wishing you only good things,
Teresa